Carra Rud | Online Blog

Three Games In

2011-09-11T08:55:00.000+01:00

(Early Daze)

Although top flight at the Carra has been a rarity in the last two decades, let's try not to 'enjoy it' in the Worthington sense of the term. In as much as admiring the international regulars, queuing for Jonathon Woodgate's autograph and treating the Stamford Bridge village as 'a nice little day out'. Let us all know and believe that we have the right the be there as much as anyone else.

And this 'right' has been evident within the first three fixtures. We perhaps rode our luck at the DW Stadium but we tried to play our own fluent brand football - something that wasn't occuring during away fixtures six years ago. Too often City tavelled home with nothing to show for their efforts during those winter months circa 2004/2005. The lack of quality, variety and leadership was far too thin. Although our January savour in Dean Ashton kept us interested during the last few months, the wound was too deep for even Simon Charlton and Graham Stuart to crawl out from.

Stoke brought their physical presence for the second game and did little to shake off their footballing reputation. City underlined their squad versatility, starting Chris Martin with Pilkington and Bennett on each wing. We effectively bullied Stoke during the first half which is no mean feat. Kenwyne Jones' injury-time equaliser was as sickening as Horsfield's in 2002 and everything felt unjust.

Our Stamford Bridge date arrived and neither one of our three center-backs closed down José Bosingwa. But amidst that quality goal, the sun and the rain, we witnessed a most encouraging performance in which we create chances, looked efficient in midfield and matched the Russian's rubles all over the pitch. Perhaps that above mentioned belief really started there.

PL really has been exceptional so far - the man can do no wrong. In as much as the positive teams he's chosen and his general aura. We can all expect some Lambert-like surprises along the way; which may conversely, not feel like surprises anymore. But on evidence so far we collectively have a young, mixed squad and more importantly, a proper Norwich City team to be enthusiastic about. What Plymouth Argyle would give for that right now...

So let's appreciate it like any genuine football fan would, without the The League Formerly Know As The World's Best League™ delusion and even jesting with the United fans in Norfolk regarding the boys in yellow as "we".

"You've got to get a group of lads to go to the well week after week" - Paul Lambert, May 2011.

J

3 Bullet Points – Vol. III

2011-08-13T09:19:00.007+01:00

Diamonds are forever?

It’s the morning of the Wigan game and here at Carra Rud towers we still do not have a clue how we are going to line-up in only a matter of hours. Lambert’s inherently unpredictable tactical nature - who remembers Russell Martin at sweeper? - is one of our great advantages; that we have no obvious first eleven coupled with our now impressive strength in versatility and depth gives us hope for what will inevitably be an oft-frustrating campaign.

Against an open and often porous Wigan Athletic the suspicion is that we will set up with the familiar diamond midfield with Hoolahan providing scuttling between the lines of their midfield and defence. Aside from that it is anyone’s guess: Morison or Jackson? Surman or Johnson? Barnett or Whitbread? We don’t know and we certainly cannot wait.

The Best League In The World™

Prediction:
1. Manchester United
2. Chelsea
3. Manchester City
4. Liverpool
5. Arsenal
6. Spurs

...
Oh? Are there other teams in the Premier League? We’d never have guessed from the pre-season coverage.

Shitting ourselves. We look forward to musing on this season from the safety of our keyboards.

OTBC

The Froidee Fillum Returns

2011-08-12T08:15:00.012+01:00

Brand new season, same old feature: every Friday we'll aim to bring you highlights from a vintage game involving the Canaries.

Iwan Robert's farewell game at Gresty Road rounds off a near perfect season for the Canaries as they start the day as Divison One Champions, on Sunday 9th May 2004.

The Millenium Season

2011-07-13T21:46:00.000+01:00

Who remembers these lot?

Click and drag to view City's 1999-2000 Millenium Season squad.

Who Are You Most Excited About?

2011-07-05T20:50:00.003+01:00

In assuming that our next signing(s) are defense minded and that the real footballing drama is generated in the opposing half of the pitch: we can safely determine our most antispated player in our up and coming 2011/2012 Premier League season.

Lambert, in our first year back in the Championship bought a somewhat unknown few into our League One winning squad, seven in total - Ruddy, S. Smith, Surman, Fox, Crofts, Jackson and Ward. An equalise measure of Championship experience with a couple with extra appetite.

Crofts rallied in the first few months, instantly liked by the fans for his tenacity when too many of his predecessors have failed. With perhaps too much of midfield burden on his faux-Welsh shoudlers, Crofts' anchor role was made his own by little David Fox. Fox had some inspiring performances during the second-half of the season. Providing as much bite as Crofts but with a added bonus of cultured, effortless distribution. This was the catalyst for our incredible form towards the end of the season.

John Ruddy seems solid enough, despite the critics. Tall, agressive, brave and commands the defense well. There's no doubt those notable saves against Leeds and Boro away and Cotterill's penalty, amongst others, went along way to securing our promotion. Simeon Jackson was a frustrated bit-part figure when substituted for the eventual match winner Henri Lansbury in the 81st minute of the Bristol City match; an impressive performance against Forest and 5 goals later, he overtook Jim Brennan as the most popular Canadian to ever play for City. He'll surely be desperate for a starting place next season.

The form of Andrew Surman was forgiven last season due to his luck with injuries. With a undoubtable footballing talent, too many times he went missing along our left flank. Whether he has the mental or physical attributes of a top player remains to be seen.

Commeth the real first division in English football, there's mixed opinions on whether we scour the lower leagues again. However the overiding emotion is that we really do have the best man at the helm to make these decisions. All this despite never managing a team in the Premier League before. Lambert has most recently signed Bradley Johnson. The guile and engine that a team in the bottom half of the Premier League craves. A regular for Leeds last season, he knows what it's like playing infront of a demanding crowd.

James Vaughan brings a small amount of Premier League experience to the team. Known for being 'The Youngest Ever Premier League Goalscorer' @vaughany14 had a mixed time on loan at lowly Crystal Palace last season, managing nine goals in another injury-hit season. Vaughan seems like another instinctive, decent eye-for-goal and natural footballer. At only 22, if the injuries are behind him, he really could be a bargain and have a long establishing career at City.

Elliot Bennett is most peoples' most exciting prospect for the new season. With his umpteen assists for Brighton's League One winning side last season he seems extremely adaptable. Bennett could be the dynamic winger NCFC have always craved for. With a certain variation yet directness that only Huckerby has provided in the last ten years. The versatile Ritchie De Laet also joins us for the season from Manchester United. Judged as 'not ready' for Sir Alex, he will want to shine when his chance comes. De Laet figured for Portsmouth the night we clinched promotion and looked a pacey, lean addition for defensive cover.

For one half of CR though, Steve Morison is who I'm most excited about. If this doesn't get you perspirating then you must be Gareth McAuley. He's an all-round forward, centre-forward, striker and poacher. This goal against our East Anglian friends is Bergkamp-esque - like all Leicester 1997, Argentina 1998 and Newcastle 2002 put together. The trepidation is surely down to witnessing his development in League One and then Championship at the same time as City. He's a good physical presence and no stranger to playing upfront on his own. I genuinely believe he will be our surprise package next season.

The prospect of a Holt/Morison partnership is enough assurance that we're ready for the Premier League.

We still need another centre-back though.

J

The Top 5 City Goals Fillum 2010/2011

2011-06-07T18:22:00.000+01:00

When We Had An Inkling

2011-05-22T20:00:00.004+01:00

A midweek trip to Leicester had a troubled feeling, in more than one sense of the word.

After a disappointing home draw to lowly Preston, Leicester were a resurgent side sitting ninth in the Championship and started with Andy King, Matt Oakley and Richie Wellens - the only survivors from the previous fixture six months prior. Alongside lay Sven's mismatches consisting of the sporadic Ricardo, 'The Yak' and the stern-faced Darius Vassell. The 2200 travelling City fans stood in the insipid bowl-like stadia and even had the pleasure of witnessing a feeble Lech Poznan attempt after the home side equalised.

The match itself: Hoolahan soared, Chris Foy pointed and Aaron finally got his goal.

The score flattered Leicester against a dominant and free-flowing City side. Fox's ability to keep possession; Crofts versatility on the right; Holt and Wilbaham battling upfront - all operating exceptionally as one and as a team. Even Surman was putting in a tackle [citation needed]. The highly rated Kyle Naughton performed more like Jon Otsemobor after his altercation in a Liverpool nightclub. And even showed his petulance after a frustrating swipe of the ball after failing to receive another lazy pass from the Foxes' midfield. Sol Bamba struggled against our talismanic northerner and was nowhere when Cheshire's answer to Zlatan, Wilbrahamovich scuffed a shot into Ben Mee and past Ricardo Pereira.

All results from Cardiff, Forest, Swansea and QPR were met with cheers as City finished the night third, level on points with the Swans in second. Alongside a tremendous sense that 'it could be our year', we left the midlands with iconic images of 'Congratulations Leon' and 'The Most Contradicting Footballers in the World Ever'.

J

The Beamback

2011-04-21T18:50:00.002+01:00

A great photo from the Archant archive. Who remembers Erik Fuglestad doing the half-time punditry in the studio to the right of the Barclay? The beamback is possibly more nauseating and frustrating than a Lee Croft PotS voter.

"If it gets to 5-nil we're leaving" I was told as a boy at half-time. Two Bobby Petta goals later...
We can laugh about it now.

One hour to go, Carra Rud are nowhere near a football pitch.

3 Bullet Points - Vol. II

2011-04-19T19:35:00.003+01:00

Nottingham Forest

Carra Rud agrees with Paul Lambert: Billy Davies’ men looked for a short spell like the best team to have visited during his tenure. In the first half they were all clever movement and midfield pressing - limiting Fox’s creativity in particular – and fully disrupting our rhythmical passing game. Nathan Tyson and Lewis McGugan had our back four at sixes and sevens on more than one occasion, which brings us nicely to the question of Zak Whitbread. Zak Whitbread is a good defender but the adoration of him by some of the Canary faithful is utterly ridiculous; Whitbread was imperious in the air against a sluggish (as per usual) Kris Boyd yet he found Tyson and to a lesser extent McGugan very hot to handle. However, there is no shame in being given a tough game against a good attacking unit like Forest and Carra Rud trusts him more than the increasingly erratic Elliot Ward, who incidentally had his best game without Leon Barnett alongside him against the Reds! How contradictory are we…

Rio Ferdinand and Mario Balotelli

Allowing himself to be wound up by a winking Mario Balotelli is unforgivable. The fiery Italian’s reputation precedes every mention of his name and yet the ex-England captain and urine-cup dodger took the bait like an especially ravenous trout. Is that the sound of Manchester United’s feathers being ruffled?

P.S. ITV continue to ruin The FA Cup.

Arsene Wenger

We can't wait to see the next novel way your side chooses to clutch a defeat/draw from the jaws of victory, the only likelihood is that it somehow will involve Jens Lehmann.

P

My Favourite Goal

2011-03-28T22:15:00.002+01:00

All truly great goals must meet certain requirements. Quality of the strike is not sufficient - setting and timing are more essential. If Zinedine Zidane had scored that goal in the final of the LDV Vans Trophy on a balmy April afternoon would anyone remember it aside from the handful of Port Vale / Grimsby Town / Carlisle United [delete as applicable] fans watching on?

Bayern Munich 1 v. 2 Norwich City - 20 October 1993. UEFA Cup Second Round first-leg - Olympic Stadium, Munich

A typical Bavarian football evening - one sure to be full of Weisswürste, wheat beer and a smugness in the air that only Die Roten and their fans could produce. Yet it was a game that contained a goal that no Canary would even comprehend, even for those whose experience of the situation belies the fact that they were a) actually there or b) old enough to know the slightest thing about football i.e. me.

The setting was perfect for a strike of infinite quality: the old Olympic Stadium and the unique atmosphere it maintains. An austere and wholly characteristically German place - one with a cold and sterile ambiance highlighted by the cold-war running track and shallow stands. To say, this isn't a place Ian Crook would often play in his career.

On offer between this battle of the (then) 3 times European Cup winners and the bastion of "provincial respectability" was the advantage ahead of a second-leg tie at Carrow Road. The second-leg of the UEFA Cup isn't generally where you'd find the makings of a special, almost cult moment in the history of a football club, yet this was little Norwich City Football Club.

Naturally, the Germans took to this game with as much concern as Arsene Wenger gives the initial rounds of the Carling Cup. Not a vintage Bayern team by any stretch, yet the captain was Lothar Matthäus. Bryan Gunn summed up the expectations on the Canaries: "It was disappointing that the Bayern management didn't show us any respect, there was an air of arrogance about them. We used that as a stimulus."

To the strike itself: Jeremy Goss was a functional central midfielder in an era full of them but oh he had a knack of wonderful strikes, strikes that were formed in schoolboy dreams. His effort in Munich was perfection. Rob Newman looped the ball long after good work from Mark Bowen, Mark Robins just unable to get his head to the ball and thus it was perfunctorily cleared by a Munich head. With no hesitation, Goss took to the dipping ball. Volleying the ball mid-leap he sent it arcing towards to the top corner of Raimond Aumann's goal. Aumann didn't move, giving the respect that the effort deserved. The ball hit the net Jerry Goss wheeled away and everything in the World was good. That Norwich City beat Bayern Munich over two legs became almost irrelevant, because that goal will be burnt on the retinas of every Canary for ever and ever and ever.
______________________________________________

8 games remaining. Little Dani Pacheco, could he replace Steeno as Carra Rud's favourite ever non-British footballer? Let's hope.

P

The Greatest of Games

2011-03-13T08:30:00.004Z

(They Don't Make Them Like This Anymore)

There is nothing quite like that old sunny Wembley pitch. So many factors made this game 'The Greatest of Games' - the obvious one being the occasion. There never was more than a single goal difference between the score as it swayed towards South London, then Wearside. I was never aware of what the play-offs actually meant until the joyous celebrations after. At a time when City were keeping their heads just above water in Division One, the Premier League was more of a dream than Hoddle bringing the World Cup home for England in France.

Norwich connotations were made with the flamboyance of Sunderland keeper Perez, who had performed sporadically in the Carra Rud fixture earlier in the season and Clive Mendonca who netted a hat-trick against City in the earlier months of the season. Mark Bowen also who had been at City during our most successful period and scored the forgotten goal against Bayern Munich. And not forgetting Old Catton-born Danny Mills, who was never a favourite amongst the BARCLAYBOYZ.

As I watch it again today (old battered VHS cassette), both teams set-up like-for-like - with their traditional four-four-twos: Phillips partnering Quinn and Mark Bright alongside impending hero, Clive Mendonca. Both line-ups having household names and were unofficial ‘Hall of Famers’ for their clubs: Mark Kinsella, Shaun Newton, Richard Rufus, Kevin Ball, Lee Clarke, Michael Gray and Nicky Summerbee. These were all British-born footballers hungry for their proverbial 'bite at the cherry' in the top-flight.

Mendonca opens the scoring at the midway point of the first-half with a contemporary Defoe styled shimmy, faking the ball into his instep and placing it over the dive of Lionel Perez. Fitting of a Premership League finish and one that Marc-Antoine Fortune has never produced. Sunderland huff and puff during the remainder of the first half before Danny Mills fails to properly clear another Sunderland attack (Sweden, Group F. World Cup 2002). From the resulting corner, Quinn nips in at the near-post with a bold downward header (Niclas Alexandersson, 59'). Seven minutes later, Sunderland then lead 2-1 when a terrific/lucky header from Kevin Ball finds Philips just inside the area who delicately lofts it over Ilic. Then, Charlton's equaliser sees a tiring and high-lined Sunderland defence be outdone by three exquisite Mendonca touches: One to arrow it away from the defence, one to control and one to slide it into the net. Brilliant.

Just as the waxwork-scummer Alan Brazil gathers his breath back, Lee Clarke finds Niall Quinn at the back post who brings it down and smashes it left-footed inside the near post. 3-2 to the Mackems. The final action of the 90 minutes sees a teasing John Robinson corner catch-out the disappearing Perez when Richard Rufus heads home his first ever goal for Charlton. Never trust a goalkeeper for short sleeves.

Into extra-time and the energy and attacking prowess doesn't end. Nicky Summerbee finishes a fine lay-off from big Niall from the edge of the area with Brazil exclaiming: "Surely now Sunderland are heading for the Premiership".

But in true Suffolk punditry...

...Steve Jones creates some space down the right hand side who picks out Mendonca again. But even with his messiest of finishes he somehow manufactures elegant toe-poke, therefore completing his hat-trick against his hometown club.

The rest, to CR, pales to insignificance. Sasa Ilic lived the dream and Peter Reid and the unfortunate Michael Gray had to wait for an automatic promotion spot the following season.

It was fascinating because it wasn't Arsenal winning one-nil nor £15 million Shearer netting five against Sheffield Wednesday... it was football a Nationwide Divison One fan could relate to. The blatant partiality in football always overshadows the mutual enjoyment of the game. And more often than not, fans favour one-side to the other even when acting as a mutual spectator. But during this match, the sense of involvement and empathy towards both clubs has been a solitary experience.

This is what football is about.

J

3 Bullet Points - Vol. I

2011-03-09T12:00:00.001Z

Manchester United - midfield thrust, or lack of.

- At Anfield on Sunday United lined up in what on paper (i.e. any national daily newspaper) was a 4-4-2:

Van der Sar; Rafael, Smalling, Brown, Evra; Nani, Scholes, Carrick, Giggs; Rooney, Berbatov.

However, United played an almost asymmetrical 4-5-1. Nani stayed wide right, Carrick and Scholes rambled centrally. Giggs flittered across the pitch in a free-role, tucking in for Rooney to drop left - in a fashion not dissimilar to Thierry Henry circa-2004 yet with a far less class.

The 4-5-1 can be fluid and flexible going forward and damn hard to break down when organised well. However, against a resurgent Liverpool it failed. Both Carrick and Scholes were in no-man's land, crying out for Darren Fletcher to provide the bite and drive in the middle. Giggs was stranded, Rooney anonymous and Berbatov isolated. United need midfield reinforcements if they are to sustain the tail-end of what is fading and aging team - Ferguson needs to purchase an attacking midfielder who can do a bit of everything (see Marek Hamsik) or one of the new-fangled central wingers (see Alexis Sanchez).

Carrick doesn't seem to answer their midfield conundrum - 19 of his 85 passes went astray and as the chalkboard illustrates nearly all of them were when making a forward pass, a trend that does nothing for his image as a sideways-passing heathen. If only Bryan Robson was still around...

Hoolahan

- As Gareth Southgate's mum once summarised: "Why didn't you just belt it son?"

Nani

- You're not Gazza and it's not the semi-final of the World Cup. Ouch nonetheless.

Cult of Personality

2011-02-28T09:42:00.001Z

Spring is fast approaching. It's that time of the season when the stomach churns and the resolve is tested with every excruciating ninety minutes; there is no other sickening euphoria like challenging for promotion. Every misplaced pass tightens the gut and weakens the knees. Every conceded goal feels like Damien Francis' jaw approxiamately thirty minutes after Leon McKenzie 'found out'.

It's not often in a football fan's life that an upcoming midweek trip to Vicarage Road is quite such a daunting prospect... however... something has changed. That all-consuming fear isn't quite so bad after all, perhaps. And we can cope with a missed opportunity at home to Doncaster Rovers can't we? There is one reason only - we have a leader, a great man doing great things. A man sent from Hell (Colchester), prised from the sneering and chubby fingers of the Devil himself (Cowling).

Paul Lambert has changed Norwich City Football Club. We have become an enterprising and modern club under his (and McNally's) tutelage. Not only on the pitch but off the pitch. We were a staid, fading monolith and financially rotten. Whilst that black cloud still lingers it is know being recognised and being dealt with. Not all agree, but the price rises are worth us regaining our pride. Our second against Reading was the metaphor for how NCFC is being run. Top down management with degrees of control for all. Lambert names his man and, with the exception of Elliot Bennett, he gets him.

With no hyperbole, he is the greatest thing to happen to Norwich since that result. There were special moments with Worthy at the helm but there was always something sickeningly inevitable about his and our demise.

The question now is one that will be answered by the season's close: is this one of the great NCFC teams or just a very good one? I think it can be the former. Yes, Barnsley aside we haven't beaten a team convincingly since QPR and we were appalling first half at Millwall, nevertheless it was another 3 points to keep us ticking over. All for a team with Aaron Wilbraham and that didn't know it's best formation until this Saturday. Just think what we can do when we play really well.

'Belief' is easily thrown about by managers and the term is often belied by results on the field; there aren't many coaches that can back talk up with so many decisive HT team-talks, last-gasp strikes and snatched points like PL can. This NCFC team is one made in his image: determination and class. Long may this be the blueprint of our club with or with Mr. Lambert, for his path in the beautiful game is one that will lead to the very highest level.

The Froidee Fillum

2011-02-04T08:48:00.001Z

The official week one of The Froidee Fillum sees goals galore at the Carrow during March 1992. As requested by Jacko, witness Darren Beckford's finest hour during his illustrious lower-league career with a hatrick against Everton.

Every Friday we'll aim to provide you a bit of nostalgia from our extensive archive of City material. Requests can be made by following us on Twitter or commenting on this post. These will appear on the right of this page with the previous editions also being maintained in our 'Vintage' section.

In case you missed last week's 'pilot':
Arsenal v Norwich City 1992/1993.

Walking Alone

2011-01-31T10:19:00.002Z

Liverpool Football Club will always be a point of fascination for us at Carra Rud towers. The golden history of the club is ingrained in the English soccer fan's psyche. The glory of the past teams has left its indelible mark on British football culture. Anfield, that great Cathedral of midweek European football, had seen everything and stirs feeling in even non-Reds.

Playing for Liverpool meant something, the Liver bird on a player's chest was a quiet fuck you to the white Yorkshire rose, the Red Devil and the lilywhite Gamecock. Excellent teams tried and failed to usurp the team born of 40 years of "boot room culture" - 40 years of Shankly right through to Evans via Paisley et al.

13 league championships and 4 European cups.

Yet Liverpool have lost their identity. Carragher and Gerrard are a dying breed. It would be too easy to talk about the failings Poulson, Konchesky and Cole like the MoTD boys do - Hodgson was not the beginning of the rot and neither was Benitez or even Houllier.

Liverpool F.C. are their worst enemy. There is something inherent in the feeling of the club and the fans and even the Liverpool-centric pundits. A festering resentment for all other teams - highlighted by the fact that they still think of Manchester United as, to quote Sir Alex himself, "noisy neighbours."

And so to Fernando Torres and the highlight of this January transfer window. An ordeal that speaks volumes about the football world and Liverpool's standing in it. A watershed moment that says a lot about the decline of a great British institution.

Chelsea's bid has been met with an extraordinary reaction from LFC that in turn has spawned a remarkable turn of events. A club steeped in the history like the Merseyside outfit cannot be seen to be demanding transfer fees for their one world class player. A swift rebuttal would have surely have sent Roman's eyes elsewhere (much like the rejection of cursory glances in Torres' direction over the last two summers from Manchester City). There will be no satisfactory outcome for LFC. In pleading for a return offer they have somehow managed to not only lose their best player - it's all but a done deal, right? - but have managed to do so in a fashion that belittles the club itself.

£50million is no bad slap in the face (that's Darren Bent twice). However, surely keeping their identity and a show of strength would have advocated the argument for the ongoing relevance of a great club? There is something sinister in this tainting of the DNA of LFC.

"His head isn't in the right place."

"His heart's not in it."

"His face tells a story."

Just 3 of the myriad of phrases that have been used to describe Fernando Torres over the last few months. Enough cliches have been spewed. The man might want to leave but he hasn't humiliated Liverpool Football Club. They've managed to do that all on their own.

_____________ . _____________

NCFC getting a point at Selhurst Park? Right, we are definitely going up then. More to come, including our own late mid-season report.

A Sense of Ian Evattability

2011-01-28T10:36:00.002Z

Charlie Adam's audacious attempts to leave Holloway coincided with the potential first-season, half-way point demise of a club enjoying their time in the Premiership. Whether it's all too predictable or just pessimism from an envious football fan, the similarities are apparent with Hull who crawled over the line on the final day of the 2008/2009 season. Adam, who was rescued from the fringes of the SPSPL (Semi-Professional Scottish Premier League), needn't forget the overachievment that has been presented by himself and BFC. Whether that warrants a starting place, more money and a more inspiring career at another club might be a risk worthing taking for both parties.

Note: This blog was severely under threat at half time during the 'pool/United game... just proves I'm right I guess.

A conversation recently arose questioning the ambition of our signings and whether or not our current rotational squad are Premiership material. Here's my argument:

Crainey; Eardley; Cathcart; Evatt; Higginbotham; Fuller; Sidibe; Jason Roberts; James Morrison...hardly inspriring names. The likes of Korey, Lappin, Fox and even Jackson and Wilbraham would certainly give it their all, if lack that prowess and quality (Marlon Harewood?). Leon 'The Deceiver' McKenzie scored a handful of goals at Premiership level and is one of the worst footballing strikers ever witnessed. Finally, the ability of PL to pick out a good bargain is unprecedented so our Premiership aspirations are looking golden.

No prediction shall be utterered from Carra Rud for the remainder of the season. Fuck! Hasn't ipswichcrazy gotten a bit out of hand?! Watch it again HERE from our Tube channel.

J

VILLA GAMBLE ON KRISS AKABUSI LOOKALIKE

2011-01-19T09:45:00.003Z

£18million rising to £24million. This seems an awful lot for a scummer.

Darren Bent has consistently scored goals and these goals have been scored in The League Formerly Know As The World's Best League™ but has he ever threatened to look world class? Since his move to Charlton Athletic for £3million in 2005 he has demanded transfer fees totalling nearly £50million, which surely on the Carra Rud approved 'quality: transfer fee' ratio is somewhere near the murky depths of Ade Akinbiyi and Carl Cort.

Of Steve Bruce, Niall Quinn, Gerard Houllier and Randy Lerner it is difficult to see who was most desperate for the move. Lerner wouldn't back O'Neill yet he's quite happy to throw money at the elderly Frenchman who signed Salif Diao and Bruno Cheyrou(!?).

The sudden reckless spending is understandable - 2010 was difficult for Villa and even harder for Lerner: Phil Dowd inexplicably kept Nemanja Vidic on the field during the infamous Carling Cup final; Chelsea thumped Villa 7-1 at Stamford Bridge, the game when the rest of the Prem realised that Richard Dunne and James Collins will literally throw themselves at every ball and that all is needed to deter these balding behemoths is a little feint; Milner leaving and, of course, the acrimonious departure of Martin O'Neill right on the brink of the new season.

Cynical Villains fans will be asking is why invest so heavily now, when neither Barry nor Milner (nor arguably O'Neill) have been adequately replaced. Rare talents like Marc Albrighton and Ciaran Clark have given the Holte End faithful every reason to be optimistic, but an outlay of potentially £30million on Darren Bent and Cameroon international Jean Makoun is a big gamble and seemingly a mistimed one.

Quinn and Bruce seemingly could not wait to get their hands on Randy Lerner's dollars (only Kevin Phillips was perturbed by it all ) and the Black Cats will surely re-invest given their 3rd choice striker is now Frazier Campbell. Robbie Keane would be the obvious short-term move but it seems like Sunderland are planning ahead, unlike Villa.

Bent's departure will more importantly give Asamoah Gyan the opportunity to cement his place as the senior striker at The Stadium of Light, a role that he fulfills exceptionally for Ghana. Given that Bruce has been relinquished of the responsibility of juggling two similar players in Bent and Gyan he now has the space on the pitch and the resources for some much needed wide-midfield creativity - recent reports linking the Black Cats with a move for PSG's Stéphane Sessègnon will get the Mackems forgetting Darren Bent quicker than you can say 'Awoooooga!'.

Initial Thoughts

2011-01-18T20:49:00.004Z

Carra Rud has been born out of three things:

- Frustration: sitting in the Jarrold; Pinkun posts; Leon McKenzie

- Affection: FA Carling Premiership; Worthy's season review introductions; Lambert.

- An extensive but unfulfilling amount of football-related knowledge and archived material.

All things look bright at fortress CR as this first post is published. Lambert has got us consistently perfoming at the highest level home and away since I can remember (21). Whilst giving absolutely nothing away post-match every single week, it is inevitable he will one day be talked away by a silver-tongued club owner. Even when seething immediately after the Madejski debacle, he managed to not bite at the fat-headed Sky Sports interviewer (name escapes me) who tried to pinch and probe.

Alternatively Liverpool are having a rotten time presently, which is fine. Why Hodgson, the Grandad everybody can be pleased and disappointed for, was given the job in the first place is beyond belief. One decent season with a team with Dickson Etuhu in the middle can’t be too bad, but with a career that is as confusing as Dirk Kuyt’s best position it is easy to judge his failure with a relatively good squad - despite pundits claiming it needs improving during this transfer window. With their squad, Liverpool SHOULD NOT need to sign anybody.

I can’t help but see the similarities between Dalglish and Gunn. Their despondent, wind-swept faces in the Bloomfield Road dugouts. The noticeable difference is the previous success pioneered under Dalglish. I just hope in six months time King Kenny isn’t selling mobile-packages for a local tele-communications company...